Stage 7 — The Car Ride

Stage Title: The Car Ride

Estimated Time: 12 minutes

What You’ll Learn:

• Why the car ride before and after matches is such an emotional moment

• How self-awareness applies to players, parents, and coaches in the car

• Better questions to ask (and not ask)

Core Lesson:

The car ride is where emotions often spill over because:

• The match just ended (raw emotion)

• There is nowhere to hide (confined space)

• Parents and players are tired, hungry, and often disappointed

• The wrong question can undo an entire match experience Self-Awareness for Players: Before you get in the car, ask yourself:

• What am I feeling right now?

• What do I need? (Space? Food? Silence? To talk? Not to talk?)

After the match, you are allowed to say:

• “I need a few minutes before I talk.”

• “Can we talk about it later?”

• “I’m really frustrated right now. I just need to sit with it.”

Self-Awareness for Parents: Before you speak, ask yourself:

• What am I feeling right now?

• Am I about to make this about me?

• Does my child need analysis or support right now?

Better First Sentences After a Tough Loss: Instead of “You should have won that match.”

“What happened out there?” “Why did you do that at 4-all?” “Let’s go over what went wrong.”

Apply It Today:

Try “Tough one. I’m with you.” “Want to talk now or later?” “I’m proud of how you competed.” “Food first. Then we can talk if you want.” If you have a match or practice this week, notice what happens in the car. Just notice. Do not try to fix everything.

Write down: “After my match, I noticed _. What helped was _. What hurt was __.”

Reflection Prompt (for players):

What is one thing you wish adults understood about the car ride?

Reflection Prompt (for parents):

What is one thing you could change about the car ride to make it better for your player?